Black lesbian rev tells white gays how to reel in black church folk
Are you a white gay man who’s out of touch and spends too much time going to pride parades? Do you want to get connected with blacks so you can feel da spirit and really fight homophobia? Want to know how use manipulative tricks to get black church folk on your side to amp up your equality dreams? Well, fret no longer. In a new how to video, you too can learn to get black folks to do your bidding! And, get this!: its easy!
If Uncle Tom had a sister, would she be called Aunt Thomasina? The Rev. Irene Monroe, with trademark head rag, sits down with the WGWBS (white gays with blogs) from Truth Won Out for this must watch new training video.
Rev. Monroe says if you use her approach its a done deal. If you do three simple things, white gays can have black folks eating out of their hands in no time:
1. You gotta get black ministers to talk for you. Blacks only listen to other blacks, right? This sounds like it was ripped off from Planned Parenthood’s racist founder Margaret Sanger who said blacks were “human weeds” that needed to be exterminated. She devised a clever tactic using black ministers to convince blacks that abortion was the best option to keeping black families manageable. We all know how that worked out. Thanks to Sanger, black women constitute only 13% of the female population (ages 15-44) in the US, but get 36% of the abortions. According to the Alan Guttmacher Institute, black women are more than 5 times as likely as white women to have an abortion. On average, 1,876 black babies are aborted every day in the United States. That’s a lot of dead black babies!
2. You gotta gets the black women on your side. Rev. Monroe said black women loves they babies. So what the white gays need to do is convince black mothers that homophobia (not abortion) is the cause of so many of their kids dying. Its easy, she says. Real simple. What she’s implying is that Black women are stereotypically gullible. But wait! There’s more! IF you get gullible black women to buy into your racist drivel, you can also hook the black church as well!!! Lean in for this one: Black women are the BACKBONE OF THE BLACK CHURCH! You get two for the price of one if you act now!! Good going Auntie!
3. Lastly —and we know this is going to be tough for that Christian-hating, financially privileged white gay man out there — you gotta work with those “faith based” religious organizations. If you’re going to get anywhere, you have to court the religious folks. We’re guessing that homosexual Jews and Muslims also have to co-sign the “faith based” groups to get the ball rolling. But that shouldn’t be a big problem. Anything for the ole equality cause. Bonus added if you snag the ones who already use the “affirming” moniker. That way you don’t have to pretend to tolerate all that talk about deliverance, freedom from homosexuality and exgay ministry you despise.
So, there you have it, in three easy steps. White gays now have the tricks to get black folks up and crackin in no time. But wait! Thats not all! Mention Miss Irene’s name and you’ll get instant recognition from black folks in those hard to get to hood churches!
And sorry, please ignore the jarring white gay club intro music. Rev. Monroe probably just forgot to tell them to use Swing Low Sweet Chariot.