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Joe Brummer said:
Well, I would like to address, not the religious part of this, but the lack of ability to use the art of commuication. So many of our conflicts in the world today are rooted in our lack of communication. This is one of them,
I think it is sad this grandmother is willing to give up her relationship with her grand-daughter over a conflict over beliefs. I would venture to say that half of the wars we are fighting are over conflicts of beliefs. We as a society need to learn to respect each other even when are beliefs differ. Gandma, is just kicking this child out due to her beliefs rather than learn to live with the reality that her child believes differently than she does. How many wars are we fighting that are based in this same argument?
Lets look at DL’s questions:
(1) Is this a common struggle (identity) between teens and parents, just about homosexuality in this particular case?
Yes, it is a common struggle. It goes far beyond homosexuality. It moves on to abortion, capital punishment and other “hot” topics. The young and the old are differing based on what they have been taught, what they have experienced and so on…what has changed is that communication skills are also lacking. No one listens to what the other side has to say and no one is really respecting each other’s need to be heard and understood. The young girl says it over and over “you will never understand”, but how does she know that? The grandmother says over and over, I will never accept…, but how does she know that? Everyone is so bsy talking their side, no one hear’s a thing the other is saying. They are willing to go their separate ways, losing love and friendship over an issue they could learn to “agree to disagree” but still love and respect each other.
(2) Is the teen being disrespectful or is she justified in her responses?
Well, yes, she is. Commnication is learned and I am not so sure this child has had the opportunity to learn how to “actively listen” to others, but I also can see that gandma also isn’t listening. Neither is listening, just talking their side. That is another problem in today’s society. John Lennon talked about this in a song: “Everbody’s talking, but no one says a word”. We are all good at spewing our side of things, but we are weak in our skills of empathy, listeining and compassion.
(3) Is the grandmother being too hard on the teen and does she adequately explain her/the bible’s objections to homosexuality to the teen?
Yes, she is too hard, but I can see she has a need to care for her grand-daughter. SHe has a need that stems in love. The grand-daughter is too emotional to see the love and concern. She is too emotional to talk over the conflict with objectivity to see the grandmother’s points and reflect with her own. It is a skill few today have learned.
On the flip, the grandmother is not listening either. SHe cuts the child off, and puts her on the defensive. This is not a place where conflict can be solved.
Conflicts are solved when we see each other’s needs, understand them and come to agreement of how to deal with them, even when we disagree. This is a skill I only pray we all start learning.
# 6 July 2007 at 1:19 am
gcmwatch said:
Joe,
First let me say that I appreciate your acknowledging our posts on your site. GCM Watch has a decidely Christian perspective with Christian eventuality. So we not not inclined to wade into political-social arguments if we are to stay true to our mission.
That being said, there was some conflict over the grandmother-daughter conflict in the video.
I can understand both’s points of views and perhaps even their sentiments behind it. I do wish there had been an arbitrator there to help them and not cause a permanent break in the family.
The grandmother is speaking from “her world”. i.e “this is not good and you could die (by disobeying what Im telling you). She has a valid point to the 15 year old. But she should have let her get all her anger out.
You are correct in that the subject matter is irrelvant here. Parents argue with teens about everything, particularly who the child percieves themselves to be at that point, so I wouldnt ascribe any special negativity because they are in conflict over the teen’s lesbianism.
This is an all to familiar ending in inner city black families.
# 6 July 2007 at 4:52 pm
Stephen Bennett said:
DL – I commend you for getting back to where the Lord has wanted you. You are a mighty man of God who IS being used for HIS glory.
You have the testimony, the credibility and the biblical knowledge to speak with authority.
If you read in between the lines of this video, you see the truth:
1. This girl comes from a broken family. It seems the grandmother has raised her.
2. The young girl has a “toughness” about her. Who has she had to “fight off” her throughout her life? I’m not a bettin’ man, but I’d put it all on the fact that she ended up down this path for some VERY common reasons.
3. This girl is immature. Most teens/young adults are “know it alls.” We were there – remember? If this young girl only KNEW the life that was set before her, vs. the life she COULD have in Christ — wow.
For her, the ‘gay’ church was the answer. “I Just Can’t Stop Praising His Name!” For what?? His WORD didn’t change! His TRUTH didn’t change! His HOPE didn’t change! 1 Cor. 6:9-11 DIDN’T CHANGE! 2 Cor. 5:17 DIDN’T CHANGE!
So what did that they “can’t stop praising ‘his’ name?” It ain’t the He who they think it is. Yes, they ARE praising ‘his’ name – that father of all lies and deception, in whom lies NO truth. A golden calf idol have they made, an image of a god – a figment of their imagination – a god who not only accepts sinners, but accepts SIN.
This ISN’T the GOD of the Bible, but it IS the ‘god of this world.’
“Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat:
Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it.
Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves.
Ye shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles?
Even so every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit.
A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit.
Every tree that bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire.
Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them.
Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven.
Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?
And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.” Matthew 7:13-23
Yes, there will be a LOT of “STRANGERS AT THE GATE” who will be awaiting their turn, only to be turned away by the One they THOUGHT approved of their sin.
It’s not my Word – it’s His.
# 7 July 2007 at 2:05 pm
gcmwatch said:
Stephen many thanks and blessings for continuing to lift up the standard and “cry aloud and spare not”.
As you pointed out, “between the lines” of the video is a message which uncovers a truth that is not so much about the girl as it is about the church she finds as an “answer”.
Can’t stop praising his name?
In one instance it is allowable and even commanded, regardless of standing with God (see Psalm 150:6), but Jesus clearly states that praise alone is insufficient under the new convenant. Praise must be a product of obedience to the commands of God. If one is sexually immoral and the “command of God” forbid it, then they “worship in vain” according to Christ.
In Mark 5:6,7 Jesus quoted Isaiah 29:13 calling them “hypocrites” and saying such people praise him with their lips but their hearts are far from him.
In fairness, this is not exclusive by any means to homosexual churches, but certainly a bonified case-in-point.
# 7 July 2007 at 3:07 pm
Evangelist said:
Hello, all (Sorry if this is long – I type just as fast as I talk. I am a transcriptionist):
First off, I can totally understand the grandmother’s position, while not being in total agreement. I believe she handled it the best way she knew how, although not doubting her love for the child.
One contributor of the problem here: The teachings of many churches are not changing with the times. The WORD never changes, but it has to be “applied” in accordance to where we are – Last Days, Very dark times: Back when the grandmother was growing up, I’m sure homosexuality was not as prevalent as it is today. It was taboo. And I’m quite sure it wasn’t something that kids thought about – as they do today (how can they not; it’s everywhere). Back-in-the-day preaching (they rarely taught) didn’t have to address or deal with it as much.
Today, due to society promoting it, people no longer seeing it as taboo, homosexuality (sexuality period) is something that has to be addressed MORE (without compromising the word) in LOVE. The child was receptive to the other church because she was received in LOVE. Many pastors/teachers are not witnessing in love/patience. “Change” takes time – something that was given birth to overnight will rarely be changed by God overnight. God stresses “patience and waiting,” via His Word. While we wait the church has to not only “preach it” (i.e. don’t do it!!!) being wrong, it has to “teach it” (i.e. tell them why it’s wrong).
Children can no longer be seen and not heard. They can no longer be rushed off to the “children’s ministry” to play games/have fun. Teachings/preachings have to be geared towards what our kids are facing today. And what they/we are facing is UNREAL. This means that sex/sexuality has to be addressed A LOT sooner than it would have been “back in the day.” As said, the Word/God never changes, but the times do – for every thing there is a time and a season – Ecclesiastes 3. And it should start at home, which means that parents will have to seek God via prayer and His Word (every day) just as enthusiastically as they seek him in church on Sunday. You can’t teach it (Word) to your kids if you don’t know/understand it.
The young girl said that she had contemplated suicide, which is an indication that she does not want to be that way, which indicates a stronghold/yoke. That, to me, was a sign that she is not beyond help. Although change does not come over night; with faith, love, respect, time, intercession (prayer), patience, and most importantly, the strength of God (via Holy Spirit), God is faithful – 1Corin 1:9! His Word promises, NOTHING is too hard for Him, if we believe (Faith)- Luke 1:37. Tears, pain, shame, etc. will come, but we don’t hold on to them; we give them to God – in Faith, prayer, and patience.
Many of us are not giving it to God. Proof is in the fact that the girl had to seek help from what she “thinks” is peace, in the WRONG PLACE – same snake of deceit Eve faced… many are facing today. If we don’t embrace (teach) our kids, the devil will. What was she so receptive to in the other church (gay church)? Love and acceptance! The grandmother and the church should have loved the child (unconditionally), while at the same time standing on the fact that the behavior is unacceptable to God – in a loving way. Then what? Turn it over to God in prayer (where any two are gathered together in my name… it shall be done) and faith, without forcing the child to change over night. That’s the essence of trusting God’s love – moreso when it comes to our children. She should have been kept “in the house”/God’s house versus running her deeper into sin/bondage. 1Corin ch13 stresses that NOTHING of God precedes Charity/Love, without it we are/have nothing.
We have to carry our children, until we “teach them” to carry themselves. Don’t just tell them what the Bible says (preaching); tell them why it’s wrong (teach). Live it! As a parent, I know that kids pay more attention to what they see than what they hear. And you can’t preach it until you teach it. And you can’t teach it unless you know it. And you can’t know it until you seek God (in church and privately) via the Holy Spirit for understanding – John 16:13.
Our children are our future. The fact that Satan is attacking them like never before is because he realizes that better than most.
Prayer changes things – let us pray fervently for the lost and ourselves on a daily basis – James 5:16.
Peace & Love in Jesus name!
# 12 July 2007 at 11:16 pm
jysuper said:
This grandmother knows the truth. She should have affirmed her love for her as a person while not condoning the sin. This doesn’t happens enough!
# 18 September 2008 at 8:48 pm